Still Small Voice

     This summer I am working at an LDS girls' camp for the third year in a row. The past two summers were spent as a camp counselor which absolutely changed my life. This year I am blessed to be the 1st Assistant/Program Director. Although I will not have my own group of girls this year (which sometimes breaks my heart), I get the opportunity to be the "fun aunt" to these cute young women.
    People keep asking me how I knew that I would be blessed to work at camp for a third year so here is my story... As I sat in the dining hall on our last day of camp last year, barely able to keep my eyes open, our camp president announced some changes for the following year. There would be 3 directors next year. One director, and two assistant/program directors (APD). My heart was full and I heard a still small voice in my head telling me that I was going to be one of the APDs. Was this the feeling of the spirit or was it just my mind and emotions? I couldn't tell... As I went back to school, the thought of this moment kept coming to my mind. I couldn't get Brighton Camp out of my head and it was driving me absolutely crazy. I decided that I would go to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple to clear my mind. Well, that didn't work since I saw a group of 8 young women who had come up to camp that past summer and recognized me... I guess that was another answer...
     At school, I kept praying to my Heavenly Father about applying for camp. How would it even be possible for me to have this position? I currently had a meager $50 dollars in my account which had to be used for practical things such as food and school tuition. How in the world would I be able to have the means to travel back and forth from Cedar City to Salt Lake every weekend to plan an entire girls camp? How would I have time? I would be taking 18 credit hours, plus institute. On weekends, I would be busy driving across the state as well as spending my time in meetings. I kept telling my Heavenly Father that I could not apply for that position. It just wasn't going to be possible. Silly me...
     In my prayers, this subject would almost always come up and I would beg to be a counselor again. I knew that job, it was less of a time commitment, and I love the girls. I REALLY wanted to be at camp, but I was scared. One night, as I was praying and telling my Heavenly Father the reasons why I couldn't be an APD (again), I heard a small voice in my head saying "I can handle those things. Don't worry and I will help you. Apply for APD". Wow....
     The next day in my classes a certain camp song called "Step forth" was stuck in my head. The chorus says:

"Step forth my child, Trust my arms.
Though you cannot see, I can see you clear.
Through this step of faith you'll see, I will catch you and carry you home."

     This was definitely another obvious answer to my prayers, so after class I went straight to the library to print out my application. I was still a little stubborn and doubtful in my abilities and the Lord's abilities, so I checked the boxes for counselor and APD...
     The weeks went by and thoughts of doubt kept filling my mind. I finally had an interview date and time and I was doing all I could to prepare. At this point, my heart had been softened.I prayed more fervently. I made promises with my Heavenly Father of things I would do for Him if I got the opportunity to work at camp for a third summer. I wanted to glow with my Heavenly Father's love. I wanted to teach the gospel. I wanted to serve. I was ready. Now, I was only afraid of rejection... Long story short, I got the position of being APD...
     As I sit and recall these moments, and the journey of this past semester, I really can see the Lord's hand was in my life at all times. 1) I had money in my account at all times. I had enough for food, books, and gas. I even had extra. 2) Some of my class times had been changed so I only had one class on Monday from 2-3:15 and I had no classes on Friday which meant that I had longer weekends available for studying and/or traveling. 3) My grades remained high. Although I didn't have as much time to study, knowledge would enter my mind and I easily recalled the information for exams. I can't say that that semester was easy because it wasn't. It was hard especially when people at school questioned why I accepted this position, but I knew it was right.
     Through this entire process I have learned so much about myself and my Father in Heaven. 1) He keeps His promises. 2) You can do anything with the Lord by your side. 3) TRUST Him and His plan for you... Most of all, I have learned that when you put the Lord first in your life, he will guide and direct your path. Everything will fall into place and His had WILL be in your life. He knows you better than you know yourself.
     So, next time you receive a prompting to do something (whether great or small), go out and do it right away. Don't argue with the Lord. Don't make up reasons why it won't work. Just have faith and take that step. He will catch you EVERY time.