The Words I Never Thought I'd Say: "I'm Going to Grad School"

 Well, I just finished my second week of grad school and as I sat in my class of nine students, I started to reflect on how I got to this point (yes, I was daydreaming in class)… 

Allow me to bring you back to a year ago today… I was starting my last semester at SUU. My plan was to move home in December, take two final online classes while living at home, and find a job. I had no intention on applying for grad school. Sure, the thought crossed my mind a couple times, but I always thought that grad school was not for me. I wasn’t dedicated enough, I like my social life too much, and I was definitely not even close to being a 4.0 student. 

Flash forward to November… I was sitting at a computer in the school library, with my headphones in my ears, a bag of cereal by my side, doing some research for a paper I was writing. This paper was probably due the next day since I procrastinate EVERYTHING, The library was packed with students and I was stressed! Suddenly, ten minutes had passed and I was somehow on grad school application websites. I honestly cannot remember even typing in the websites it’s like I blacked out for ten minutes. When I realized what web pages I was on, I started to freak out! Thoughts were racing through my head, my heart was pounding, and I am sure I was talking out loud to myself. To others, I probably looked like I had gone insane! I grabbed my belongings as quickly as I could and I left the library to call my mom in a panic. What was I thinking!!! Here’s kind of how my conversation went:

Mom: Hello?
Me: I think I have to apply to grad school…
Mom: (calmly replies) Ok, when are applications due?
Me: WHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS?!?!?

My homework didn’t get done that night. Instead, I started to write down a list of stuff I had to do for my applications including tests, papers, recommendations, transcripts, etc. I wasn’t even quite sure what program I was supposed to be in. All I knew is that I had to apply.

I prayed that entire day and night asking my Father in Heaven, “Why”. To anyone who is reading this, I know this decision may not seem big to you. I wasn’t asked to go on a mission or anything, but this was big for me. I was about to take a giant leap into the dark and I was terrified. Between church responsibilities, work, demanding classes, family, and everything else, I had no time to even think about my application. How was this going to be possible in such a short amount of time? It would take a miracle!

Flash forward again to December 23. The day I was supposed to take the GRE… I thought…. Through moving home, preparing for Christmas, and family stuff that was going on, I got the date wrong to take the GRE. I missed it by one day and I was devastated. Looking back, I know that missing the test was a tender mercy. I was able to grieve the loss of a loved one that day and I know I wouldn’t have done well on the test. So, I had to reschedule and pay for another test.  Worst. Test. Ever.

Two days before my application was due, I had almost everything I needed. My letters of recommendation were submitted, application was filled out, and transcripts were submitted. All I needed now was a ten page paper…. Well, better late than never… I spent an entire day at the library writing this paper and praying that I would get done in time…. 24 hours later, my paper was done and I turned in my application. Whew! My part was over! Now it was just time to wait. Part of me really wanted to get into the program, but the other part of me didn’t. I was dealing with a lot of change and that would be adding one more to the list.

A couple months passed and I finally got the letter. I had gotten accepted to the U to study Rec Therapy! I can’t even begin to describe the emotions that filled my heart as I read my acceptance letter. Joy, excitement, surprise, fear, etc. How did this happen?!?!I never thought I would be someone to say "I'm going to grad school". 

As I sit in this classroom of only eight other very intelligent students. I know it is a miracle to be sitting in this chair today. I am the youngest student in the program by 5 years. I wrote my essay in less than 24 hours. I only had a couple months to plan and prepare where everyone else had been planning this path for at least a year. The only way this could have happened was by the Lord’s hand and His help.

I am so grateful to have this opportunity to earn a degree and eventually have a career in a field where I can make a difference. I know that the Lord has a plan for each of us and as long as we submit to His will, He will help us every step of the way. I know this because through everything that was happening in my life during the time I was applying, there should have been no way that I would complete my application.

I challenge you to submit to His will. Follow His plan for you! It is an individualized plan and it may not lead you to where you want to be, but He will ALWAYS lead you to where you need to be. I may not be the most qualified, the most intelligent, or the most motivated student in my program, but I know that I am in the right place and I look forward to the adventure that awaits!